Things we should get over! kenya/uganda.
Having recently visited home. I was quite excited, u know the feeling you got as a kid knowing you are going somewhere u anticipate! that's how i feel a day before i catch that flight to kenya. So excited that my one best moment was when we got to kenya soo drunk early one morning and sang the national anthem upon landing. Mind you, we sang the 1st verse perfectly then started mumbling after(shame on us) considering we stood alert for 8 + 4 years every monday and friday and sang that anthem! back to the list, honestly i have to learn to stop interacting my own stories. As i was saying, there are behaviours us as east africans need to get over or rather improve if we so need to be compatible with the rest of the world. my friends were laughing as i told them and thought i have lived abroad so long! truth be told, whether its being home they still distract us, yet we pretend not to care and live moss moss while we fu#%&N! oops, i curse sometimes! while we get soo pissed if we on the receiving side. Take for example i arrive in Nairobi wee hours of the morning, to be picked up by my pal. They are to come with her pal who is the driver n dude gets drunk 1 hr before n blaks out!! Dear God, honestly? like he couldn't wait an hr! so my pal keeps calling n voicemail. the shock of turning on the fone and ding dong! sms! just take a taxi! i boiled, cooled down and took a taxi! that being the first time i told my dad i will sort myself! oh how the old man laughed at me. so apparently 1 chance i give u to see if u can be sorted n u come in taxi..i bet next tym al just let him sort, he knows best, wont try to proof otherwise. We bashed the guy, belittled him and told him he has no self sense to this day hes still apologizing and we shall have none of it, not forgetting he lost the hit(my pal) hahaha!. such shit we should get over! keep your word if you give it! otherwise you loose more and not to add it gains you more respect!
2 hrs of sleep and i have to hit the saloon in nairobi, Yea we have no good hair services and so only me knows what was underneath what was in my head, those days you get to the saloon, unleash and the rest widen their eyes! cos they wont say a word! least u start a fight.I get into this matatu. The 14 seater and am set right behind the driver, between, the roads in nairobi are new( thanks to china guys that besides making babies with kenyan young ladies, they actually manage to get the work done, and we have hihyways, good flyovers and massive beautiful roads)so.. anyway, i had to see where we were going, i mean see the buildings to know where i am but theres was just some naked girls dancing infront of me! theres a big screen separating the 3 passangers infront and the rest! all we can hear is ragga jams and see naked anorexic girls as we enjoy or do we say, not enjoy our trip to town. I ask the driver the use of the screen and what will happen now that i need to see where am going and he insists by calling me madam! that am old! pls, am old? i had to make sure he looked at me when i got off the matatu, if i was to be kenyas transport minister, they would come for my neck cos all those screens would be out in 2 mins after being sworn in.Imagine! if the car crushed, and we all banged into a tv screen, God knows i dont wonna die under some anorexic chiks butt!
I get off in town n the noise!! oh i missed that where every shop plays their own music n yea loudly n u hav no idea which one to sing along to, those mornings i need when its -30 something and everyone is dull and frozen!i love that. but alas, whats up with no taking photos in the club? we were looking smashing wit ma girls i take my camera and flash!, 1 sec! the huge bodied nice muscline bouncer is on me like i was a cocain seller. He was like, NO NO taking photos in clubs!, how then will we ever rem how smashing we looked?! nkt!! but i do understand if some people take photos and they end up in campus divas for rich men website! its client protection? oh please!
Bata shop.opp corner house, what the f#*k! walked up there, buy a new shoe..n i insist it wasnt cheap, a few hrs i walk in town n my toe in peeping! talk of embarrasment though i still walked shoulder high to go claim for my right! my money back!(the kikuyu in me) n they claimed theres nothing they could do? that maybe i was walking weird!! lol!! n to my shock they ignored me like i was frozen thing! so i removed the shoe, placed it on the counter n walked out with one,drama.! onto the next shop!!! it was exhausting and i just was excited that was flying out to kampala that nite! Talking of kampala, i was very excited to go there and see what this ugadan guy who blogs about kenyans negatively meant! i even heard hes an eligible bachelor! who lives alone, owns a company n walks his german shepherd dog at 3. so they leave the club n while the rest rush to bed, he starts walking his dog!A plus for him:), african man who love pets is considered passinate and sensitive, but then only ugadans can tell us, or rather the kenyan girl who must have turned him upside down for him to attack us like that!! We get to entebbe airport, the word 'international' should just be erased, it was soo small but on the brighter side, was soo neat and clean. I walk to immigrationa and this dark, big sized immigration officer #my heart skipped abit,thought idiamin was back!!# then i remembered 90% of kenyan policemen are the same size! They say good jobs with lots money make u look *healthy* or is the money from backdoor anyway..now i know where to look for a part time job after retirement.
Forgive me for being old #meantyoung#, but the guy says my passport is old version so it cant be detected by their machines! 1st time in uganda so i hold my thoughts, but sir ? if i passed through europe and nairobi and my passport was no prob. shouldnt we think that maybe you should get new computers? dude sneers and begins typing and complaining that i should get the newer version so he doesnt hav to type manually!he gave it back n i walked off saying am welcomed in uganda thankyou! you would think i had missed 5 meals cos was walking in the airport desperate for a snack and no machine took mastercard: #sign# changed the little amount of kna shs i had and the 1st thing i got was 2 shots of vodka! i needed it!. Hei..Bravoooo..airport parking is done by automatic machine, j.kenyatta should borrow a leaf from them cos u hav to hoot hard at nite to wake up the guy at that ticket place! and people are being paid for nightshifts!SMH
kampala, is a beautiful city! city on the hills! looked so beutiful at nite with the lights and the valleys! reason for me waking up so psyked for a day in the city! we start with going downtown! and yea, downtown means down the hill! nai downtown is that part of town where hustlers do their business.For real i now agree we, kenyans are arrogant! they called us, my sister, welcomed us to their shops, too polite!The hustle of crossing roads there, tell me about it! in the central business district i only look out for cars, but in kampala, there are those bodabodas from everyside! meeneen, they do help i agree esp during traffic, guys just manuva everywhere with them. i think they should be put on a limit, there are jus too much. and the saddest thing to encounter is the street kids, oohh let me not talk cos i felt sad.
Best part of kampala was the nights life! Women go in with money and come out with their money! The fine ugadan men(in uganda..meet them here its another story) will not let a woman pay, however hard headed i tried to hide to get myself a drink, it was a No!! kenyan men? i wont talk but i surely did appreciate those brothers, transport from and to and back all drinks and u feel like you were out with your brother. though they are practically like my bros. enjoyed my stay but chinese guys need to move there after they are done with kenyan roads!(n to make more babies).
Small petty behaviours that make a difference but alot of people dont care so much so it doesnt even feel like a problem.. we have to shape it up!
2 hrs of sleep and i have to hit the saloon in nairobi, Yea we have no good hair services and so only me knows what was underneath what was in my head, those days you get to the saloon, unleash and the rest widen their eyes! cos they wont say a word! least u start a fight.I get into this matatu. The 14 seater and am set right behind the driver, between, the roads in nairobi are new( thanks to china guys that besides making babies with kenyan young ladies, they actually manage to get the work done, and we have hihyways, good flyovers and massive beautiful roads)so.. anyway, i had to see where we were going, i mean see the buildings to know where i am but theres was just some naked girls dancing infront of me! theres a big screen separating the 3 passangers infront and the rest! all we can hear is ragga jams and see naked anorexic girls as we enjoy or do we say, not enjoy our trip to town. I ask the driver the use of the screen and what will happen now that i need to see where am going and he insists by calling me madam! that am old! pls, am old? i had to make sure he looked at me when i got off the matatu, if i was to be kenyas transport minister, they would come for my neck cos all those screens would be out in 2 mins after being sworn in.Imagine! if the car crushed, and we all banged into a tv screen, God knows i dont wonna die under some anorexic chiks butt!
I get off in town n the noise!! oh i missed that where every shop plays their own music n yea loudly n u hav no idea which one to sing along to, those mornings i need when its -30 something and everyone is dull and frozen!i love that. but alas, whats up with no taking photos in the club? we were looking smashing wit ma girls i take my camera and flash!, 1 sec! the huge bodied nice muscline bouncer is on me like i was a cocain seller. He was like, NO NO taking photos in clubs!, how then will we ever rem how smashing we looked?! nkt!! but i do understand if some people take photos and they end up in campus divas for rich men website! its client protection? oh please!
Bata shop.opp corner house, what the f#*k! walked up there, buy a new shoe..n i insist it wasnt cheap, a few hrs i walk in town n my toe in peeping! talk of embarrasment though i still walked shoulder high to go claim for my right! my money back!(the kikuyu in me) n they claimed theres nothing they could do? that maybe i was walking weird!! lol!! n to my shock they ignored me like i was frozen thing! so i removed the shoe, placed it on the counter n walked out with one,drama.! onto the next shop!!! it was exhausting and i just was excited that was flying out to kampala that nite! Talking of kampala, i was very excited to go there and see what this ugadan guy who blogs about kenyans negatively meant! i even heard hes an eligible bachelor! who lives alone, owns a company n walks his german shepherd dog at 3. so they leave the club n while the rest rush to bed, he starts walking his dog!A plus for him:), african man who love pets is considered passinate and sensitive, but then only ugadans can tell us, or rather the kenyan girl who must have turned him upside down for him to attack us like that!! We get to entebbe airport, the word 'international' should just be erased, it was soo small but on the brighter side, was soo neat and clean. I walk to immigrationa and this dark, big sized immigration officer #my heart skipped abit,thought idiamin was back!!# then i remembered 90% of kenyan policemen are the same size! They say good jobs with lots money make u look *healthy* or is the money from backdoor anyway..now i know where to look for a part time job after retirement.
Forgive me for being old #meantyoung#, but the guy says my passport is old version so it cant be detected by their machines! 1st time in uganda so i hold my thoughts, but sir ? if i passed through europe and nairobi and my passport was no prob. shouldnt we think that maybe you should get new computers? dude sneers and begins typing and complaining that i should get the newer version so he doesnt hav to type manually!he gave it back n i walked off saying am welcomed in uganda thankyou! you would think i had missed 5 meals cos was walking in the airport desperate for a snack and no machine took mastercard: #sign# changed the little amount of kna shs i had and the 1st thing i got was 2 shots of vodka! i needed it!. Hei..Bravoooo..airport parking is done by automatic machine, j.kenyatta should borrow a leaf from them cos u hav to hoot hard at nite to wake up the guy at that ticket place! and people are being paid for nightshifts!SMH
kampala, is a beautiful city! city on the hills! looked so beutiful at nite with the lights and the valleys! reason for me waking up so psyked for a day in the city! we start with going downtown! and yea, downtown means down the hill! nai downtown is that part of town where hustlers do their business.For real i now agree we, kenyans are arrogant! they called us, my sister, welcomed us to their shops, too polite!The hustle of crossing roads there, tell me about it! in the central business district i only look out for cars, but in kampala, there are those bodabodas from everyside! meeneen, they do help i agree esp during traffic, guys just manuva everywhere with them. i think they should be put on a limit, there are jus too much. and the saddest thing to encounter is the street kids, oohh let me not talk cos i felt sad.
Best part of kampala was the nights life! Women go in with money and come out with their money! The fine ugadan men(in uganda..meet them here its another story) will not let a woman pay, however hard headed i tried to hide to get myself a drink, it was a No!! kenyan men? i wont talk but i surely did appreciate those brothers, transport from and to and back all drinks and u feel like you were out with your brother. though they are practically like my bros. enjoyed my stay but chinese guys need to move there after they are done with kenyan roads!(n to make more babies).
Small petty behaviours that make a difference but alot of people dont care so much so it doesnt even feel like a problem.. we have to shape it up!
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